A Brief History of Book Club

History is written by the winners.

--Alex Haley

History... is an aggregation of truths, half-truths, semi-truths, fables, myths, rumors, prejudices, personal narratives, gossip, and official prevarications. It is a canvas upon which thousands of artists throughout the ages have splashed their conceptions and interpretations of a day and an era. Some motifs are grotesque and some are magnificent.

--Philip D. Jordan

This is a song called "The History of Tenacious D" and it's not just a list of bullshit that we've done in the past. It's a chronicling of our rise to power.

--Tenacious D, History

December 17, 2003: Our first meeting, at Morton's in Tysons Corner. I invite Mike, Tim invites Chris, and a noble experiment is commenced. The book is Founding Brothers, and I'm pretty sure we discussed it at dinner, although it's hard to remember.

November 8, 2004: Tim begins the tradition of hosting by treating the group to dinner at the Westwood Country Club. Mike registers his agreement to the venue by stating, "I assume they let Jews in." Confused by the bounty around me, I panic and order half the menu. Chris James tells the story of a man and his Dodge Aspen, and Mike and I forever regret the absence of recording devices. The book is John Adams.

June 5, 2005: I host at Rio Grande Cafe in Fairfax. Only Tim and Mike join me. We sit outside after dinner while I smoke a pack of Marlboro Lights. The selection is Benjamin Franklin: An American Life. I violate the trust of the group by failing to disclose that I only managed to finish the assigned reading only by listening to the book on tape as read by the guy who played Valerie Bertinelli's husband on One Day At A Time.

August 4, 2005: Mike hosts at Harry's Tap Room. A watershed evening, as we are joined for the first time by Andrew. The force grows stronger. The book is American Sphinx. Mike continues to lobby futilely for hats.

December 1, 2005: The colonial theme continues with the selection of 1776, as Chris hosts at Artie's. Mike cannot attend in person, but joins the group via telephone live from a Hooters in southern Virginia. At this meeting Andrew suggests Thomas Paine's Common Sense and The Age of Reason, deftly using the group entrenchment in the American Revolution to focus on secular humanism and agnosticism. No one notices the subtle shift our literary Machiavelli performs. David Hume would have been smiling down on Andrew if there was an afterlife, but since there isn't he'll have settle for the respect of his peers.

January 9, 2006: Andrew offhandedly recommends a new book to Tim: The End of Faith. A godless Simpson continues to change the face of book club.

March 2, 2006: We leave the Old Dominion for the first time when Andrew hosts at Coppi's in Georgetown. We discuss Thomas Paine over delicious Italian cuisine.

May 18, 2006: Back to Westwood, and the books are Misquoting Jesus and The End Of Faith. Contemporaneous correspondence indicate Under The Banner Of Heaven was also a topic of conversation, but the book--while much beloved--is never assigned.

October 4, 2006: We return to Rio Grande Cafe, this time with a full house. I advertise a defense of Christianity, but under questioning my thesis falls apart like a cheap taco. I should have been more prepared. The records are unclear as to the identity of the book, although it may have been Collapse.

December 10, 2006: Harry's tap Room again. The books are The Progress Paradox and Collapse.

March 22, 2007: After the club's first-ever conference call, and followed by Mike actually having to file a Motion to Compel Details of Book Club, the next meeting begins with drinks on Chris's porch followed by dinner at Bazin's in Vienna. The record does not indicate the book selection, although The Progress Paradox is the topic of lively discussion that evening.

May 24, 2007: Dinner at Andrew's house, only attended by the host, Mike and I, and eventually Chris. Good times walking the streets of Georgetown. The book is Breaking the Spell.

August 23, 2007: Returning to Westwood, Breaking the Spell is again on the docket.

April 10, 2008: Dinner at my house. Steak, seafood and pasta. Chris believes in ghosts. A late night discussion of Mike's love life. The book is The Looming Tower.

June 19, 2008: Mike hosts at Sette Bello. The selection is How Judges Think.

August 20, 2008: Andrew hosts at the Blue Duck Tavern. Initially calling for a reader's choice between The Progress Paradox, One Minute To Midnight or For Whom The Bell Tolls, Andrew eventually gives up Hemingway. Dogs and cats commence cohabitation, and confusion ensues.

November of 2008: Another night at Westwood. How Judges Think is the book again. A general lack of discipline is lamented. For the sake of the club, Mike is appointed czar of the book club. His powers, by agreement, are unlimited. By e-mail dated November 21, Mike promulgates the rules of book club. He later attempts to resign his post, but his resignation is not accepted. A period of prosperity ensues, and continues to the present day.

April 16, 2009: Chris hosts again at Arties. Tim is absent. The book is The Dollar Crisis. Mike asks out the waitress based upon erroneous advice from the group. At some point everyone has to come to terms with growing older and leaving the pleasures of youth behind. For Mike, that point was tonight.

July 16, 2009: I host at Clyde's in Ashburn. Tim is absent. We are joined for the first time by The Roop. Good times. The book is The Road, which we discuss at length so the new guy won't discover the truth. Line of the night: "Chris, I majored in demography."

September 30, 2009: David hosts at Evo Bistro in McLean. Great wine. The selection is One Minute To Midnight.

October 28: The book club celebrates its fourth meeting in six months at Westwood. The book is Naked Economics.